Life interrupted

Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Once we got done with our staff meeting today we all went to Jess’s house for dinner. It was awesome. On the ride over there, there were 10 of us in a van at a time. I was listening to some of the women behind me talking and it was amazing what I heard. This lady Kat was telling Amber about a couple that she knows. They got married pretty young and were living in Kansas, living normal adult lives with jobs and we part of a pug club for other people with pug dogs. Then one day the were like “What are we doing? We’re too young (24-ish) to be living such adult lives!”. So they both applied for jobs in Baltimore or something, got them and just up and moved. They want to eventually move back to Kansas and raise a family, but for now they just want to enjoy being young. She also knows another woman who got her education degree but before she starting a career in teaching, she was a waitress just so she could have more flexibility and be able to move around and see the country. It inspired me to know that I can be young and enjoy my life and just because I’ve graduated from college does not mean that I need to immediately settle down with a steady job and start living an adult life. I have my whole life ahead of me for that! The dinner was great too! We had Mexican food and all of us from headquarters were there as well as our National Council, so I got to chat with/have drinks with our National President and Vice Presidents. It was awesome to get to chat with them in such a casual atmosphere. It was also nice to get to meet these great people (there were about 20 of us there) and get a chance to really talk with them without the background chaos of convention. I really enjoyed it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008
My Grandma died last night.

After we got back to the hotel last night I went straight to bed (it was 9 o’clock). That meant that I woke up feeling very refreshed around 5:30 and went to work out at 6. Apparently 6 o’clock is the popular hour to work out when you’re staying in the hotel. I really enjoyed my workout. We had a staff breakfast at 8, which was nice because the 8 of us haven’t all been together in the last week; it was great! Sandy called me at nine to tell my that my grandma passed away last night. It couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know what to say, and was really upset. We had a meeting that we were supposed to be in and even though I knew everyone would understand if I wasn’t at the meeting, I feel like all of these meetings are important and are really going to benefit me, so I didn’t want to miss out on it. Christy told everyone about it and everyone was really supportive and it was great to know that all of these women are my sisters and they’re all here for me, so that helped me feel a lot better. I'm also really glad that Becca is in town now. I'm going to need her later this week. I went to the training meeting, and I’m glad that I did but I probably didn’t get quite as much out of it as I normally would. It was really hard for me for a few hours, but as the day went on it got a lot better. That’s probably because I’m trying not to think of it too much, which may not be the best way to handle it, but I’m going to handle it the way I feel is best for me at the moment. There’s going to be a memorial service on Sunday in Austin, but I’ve decided that the best choice for me is to stay here. I got to spend time with her when I was home a week ago and we talked on the phone a week ago, so I’m ok with the way things were left with us. There’s going to be another memorial service in a few weeks in Fort Worth and then another one in New York in a couple of months, and hopefully I’ll get to make it to one of those. That would really mean a lot to me. I already miss her and when I have time to sit down and really let it sink in, I’m sure it’s going to hit me hard. She really meant a lot to me. Her and my Grandpa are the only people who have been a part of my life my whole life, both in New York and Texas. As upset as I am, I really feel bad for my Grandpa and Uncle Mike. I worry about my Grandpa a lot and I can’t imagine what this is like for Uncle Mike. Now that my Grandma is gone, I wonder if I’ll ever see my mom again. The only reason I’ve seen her at all in the last 11 years is because she came to Texas to see my Grandma. Now that she’s gone, I wonder… I have a lot more thoughts and feelings about things (about my Grandma and about convention) but I’m really exhausted. I just need to get some sleep and try again tomorrow. For those of you who have called me or email me, please be patient with me. This is going to be a long, hard week for me. I promise to try and get back to you soon!!