Here we go round the mulberry bush

During my time as a Leadership Consultant I visited 21 different collegiate chapters of Alpha Sigma Alpha across the country.

SEMESTER ONE

Clayton State Colony, Clayton State University in Morrow, GA

Psi Psi, Northwestern State University, Natchitoches, LA

Rogers State Colony, Rogers State University, Claremore, OK

Delta Nu-A, Kettering University, Flint, MI

Beta Theta, Central Michigan University, Mt. Pleasant, MI

Zeta Rho, University of West Alabama, Livingston, AL

Beta Mu, Henderson State University,

Psi Psi, Northwestern State University, Natchitoches, LA

Rogers State Colony, Rogers State University, Claremore, OK

Beta Gamma, Northeastern State University, Tahlequah, OK

Alpha Beta, Truman State University, Kirksville, MO

Beta Sigma, Missouri State University, Springfield, MO

Zeta Alpha, Missouri Southern State University, Joplin, MO

SEMESTER TWO

Rogers State Colony, Rogers State University, Claremore, OK

Gamma Gamma, Northwest Oklahoma State University, Alva, OK

Epsilon Epsilon, Emporia State University, Emporia, KS

Rogers State Colony/Theta Eta, Rogers State University, Claremore, OK

Beta Beta, University of Northern Colorado, Greeley, CO

Zeta Pi, Colorado State University - Pueblo, Pueblo, CO

Zeta Beta, University of Wisconsin - River Falls, River Falls, WI

Alpha Gamma, Indiana University of Pennsylvania, Indiana, PA

Beta Pi, Concord University, Athens, WV

Theta Beta, Roanoke College, Salem, VA

Zeta Zeta, University of Central Missouri, Warrensburg, MO

Gamma Pi, Missouri Valley College, Marshall, MO

FAVORITE CHAPTERS

Psi Psi - The perfect first chapter visit. Had a blast with them and we instantly bonded. They took me great places to eat and we also had fun hanging out during the hurricane.

Zeta Alpha - The girls I stayed with were so much fun. I went out with them a couple of nights and had a great time. And they cut my hair!

Epsilon Epsilon - They fed me lots of ice cream and took me to a creepy, haunted bridge. I had so much fun just hanging out with them at the house that I stayed an extra day with them.

Beta Pi - These women made a point to come and hang out with me in the chapter lounge where I was staying. We also took a trip to Hobby Lobby and spent forever picking out fabric for shirts.

Gamma Pi - The funniest women I have ever met.

LEAST FAVORITE CHAPTERS

Beta Mu - Didn't feed me at all, left me in the dorm alone, didn't care about anything that I had to say

Beta Sigma - Lied to me, rigged elections, didn't give me a blanket, forgot to feed me a few times

Zeta Pi - Not motivated or passionate about Alpha Sigma Alpha

Alpha Gamma - Very fake and superficial, always late

FAVORITE MEMBERS

Psi Psi - Krystal Smith (Treasurer, Secretary, Parliamentarian, Ritual Chairman) and Whitney Rivett (President)

Rogers State/Theta Eta - Hope Chitwood (VP of PR and Recruitment and then President)

Beta Theta - Melissa Tucker (VP of PR and Recruitment)

Beta Gamma - Leanne Williams (Secretary)

Beta Beta - Sarah Groth (President)

Zeta Zeta - Annie Devine (VP of Panhellenic)

FAVORITE ALUMNA

Sue Zorichak, Boulder, Colorado

Germany, Sweden, America, Chasity

So are you all ready for the latest update on what I might be doing with my life for the next year? Because of course it's not the same as it was just a week ago. 

Last week I applied for lots of jobs and I have heard back from several of them. I have a job interview to be a day camp counselor for the summer for when I get back in to town and I also received a phone call today to set up a time for an interview for a job as a gymboree teacher. I wasn't able to actually set up an interview time for that one yet because I don't get a cell phone signal in the town that I'm staying in this week. I'm going to venture out tomorrow in search of a spot with a signal so I can call her back and set up a time. I'm more hopeful about the gymboree teacher job because it pays a little better and they have a location in south Austin whereas the day camp is much farther north (although that one is a lot of fun field-trips with the kids).

I've also heard back from a few different families about being a nanny. I heard back from the one with the possible travel to Europe and they said they're going to call me to talk to me further. That was several days ago and I haven't heard back from them yet so I'm a little nervous. I've also heard from another family that is looking for a full time, live-in nanny in the Westlake area in Austin. I have not been able to talk to them on the phone yet because of the limited cell phone service I have this week, so that's really frustrating for me. I am going to call them when I get to Indy this weekend. When I first started looking at being a nanny my plan was to stay in the Austin area but then I decided to broaden my search to anywhere in Texas. With the grad program at Schreiner to get my teaching certificate, I can do that from anywhere as long as I can make it to Kerrville one weekend a month. So I decided to keep my options open. 

I don't remember if I mentioned in one of my other blogs the jobs that I applied for with KISD. I was talking to Elaine a few weeks ago and she mentioned that they have a few openings, one of which is for the job that her fiancee has at the moment. I talked to him about his job and decided that it was something I'm interested in and so I filled out an application and sent it in. I also applied for a couple of other jobs they have open in the district as well, just in case. Sam (Elaine's fiancee) also put in a good word for me with his boss. These jobs don't really pay that great though and there's a chance that I'd make more money as a nanny. But, like I said, I'm keeping all my options open. 

In addition to contacting families in Texas about being a nanny, I also created a profile with greataupair.com, which is a website that connects families with au pairs (nannies) both domestically and internationally. I did this just to browse the site and see what kinds of families in other countries are looking for au pairs. Today I had two different families contact me to tell me that they viewed my profile and are interested in learning more about me because they feel I'd be a good fit for their family. This caught me a bit off guard (in a good way). 

The first family is a family with 3 kids in Germany and the second is a family in Sweden that has one little girl now and they are expecting twins in September. Both families would pay for me to take classes to learn their respective language once I get there. The German family is super nice, sent me a really long email and is putting me in contact with their current and past au pairs so I can talk to them about their experiences. They're looking for someone to start sometime between the end of July and beginning of September. The Swedish family is going to call me this weekend to talk more and I can't remember when they said they need someone to start. 

So that totally messes up the plans that I thought I had at this point. I thought that I wanted to stay in the country (more specifically in Texas) for the next year and then embark on some journey to another country next fall. But I love kids and I'd really like to be a nanny, so why not go and do it in another country? I see no good reason why not. If I do this I would not be able to get my teaching certificate, but I think I'm ok with that since I'm not even sure that I want to be a teacher. Other things that might be an issue are Elaine's wedding (I'm letting the families know about it though and that I need to come back for it) and me applying for a program like the Peace Corps or YAV (how does the interview process work if I'm not in America?). Also, the going rate for a live-in nanny in America with my level of education and experience with kids is between $450 and $600 a week. For an au pair in another country the going rate seems to be $100-$200 a week. I'm not really sure how I am going to make that work with having loans that I need to pay back and such. Hopefully the German family's au pairs can tell me more about all of the money stuff. 

So once I started thinking about the au pair thing and how I wouldn't be able to get my teaching certificate, that got me thinking about whether or not I really want to get it at all. It'll cost me another $11,000 in student loans and my only reasons for getting it are to give me something extra to put down as a qualification when applying for the Peace Corps and as a back-up plan for my future. Is that really worth $11,000? I'm not so sure. Plus I'd have to spend $180 to take the GRE as soon as I get back to Austin and I don't really have that money right now. I'd also like to have some time to study for this test before spending that much money on it and I don't really have that option either. So now I'm trying to decide if I want to apply for the program at all and I have to make up my mind soon (like in the next few days) because applications are due May 1st and I need to get my letters of recommendation in by that time too. 

So at this point I have no certainties about my future holds for me but I'm really excited about all of my options at the moment. I've finally decided that I am going to do something with my life that makes ME happy and not worry about what other people think of it. I was stressing out so much about my future because I felt like I had to decide on a career right away now that I have a degree. I felt like because I went to college that my next step had to be to get a "real job" because that's what's expected of a college graduate. I felt like the only way I would be considered successful in the eyes of other people would be if I went on to graduate school or immediately started a career. The pressure I was feeling from others was overwhelming. Once I thought about it though I realized that no one in my life was actually putting this pressure on me and it was all in my head. All of my friends and family have been supportive of the ideas I've had for my future, especially lately. This is very encouraging. 

I've now decided that I don't care if the rest of the world views me as a success or not. This is MY life and I am going to do what makes ME happy. I went to college because I wanted to continue my education after high school and because having a degree would put me a head in the game of life and open more doors for me. I did it because it was something that I wanted to do, not just because it was what was expected of me. Now that I have my degree it's up to me to decide if I want to use it and how. Even if I don't end up using my degree I know that I will never look back on my time in college and the money spent there as a waste. I learned a lot about myself from the experience and of course from the classes as well. I am not saying that I'm going to just dabble in things the rest of my life and float from one thing to the next, whatever happens to make me happy at the moment. I'm just saying that I'm not going to do things because that's what expected of me or because that's what people my age usually do. I enjoy learning and would really like to go back to school one day and continue my education, I just don't know when or in what. I also know that I want a family one day and that's going to require some stability in my life, especially financially. That day is not today though. 

So this is my plan:

1. Experience as many things as I can

2. Do something that makes me feel like I've given of myself and impacted the world in some way

3. Start a family and be completely devoted to them and making sure they have as many experiences as they can

At the end of my life I want to feel as though I lived my life to the fullest and experienced as many things as I could during my time on earth. 

Little convo

A conversation between Nicole and I on google chat today:

me: Today I got really sad when I realized that is the last chapter I'm going to visit as an LC

Nicole: i know. isnt it weird 

me: I almost cried during their chapter meeting thinking that they're the last group of women I'm going to get to impact like this

Nicole: oh noooo. L  i know. it's so weird. like ive been sayin for a while... im ready to be done with the work... but im not ready to be done being an LC 

me: I thought I was. But I really do love feeling like I make a difference and getting to help these women, as individual members and as officers

Nicole: absolutely. you should go into student affairs, homes. thats what im gonna do for the rest of my life

me: I want to go on to help those less fortunate than me. I know that sounds cliche.  but I want to help those who have been dealt a really bad hand in life. I know what its like and it sucks and I hate that they often get over looked or pushed to the side or written off as being fuck ups when it's not always their fault (especially kids of fuck ups). but student affairs is my second choice! 

Nicole: hahaha. Definitely. 

Almost done

I am visiting my very last chapter right now and it's great! It's great for several reasons. First off, I really like these girls a lot. This is the most comfortable I've been with a chapter this soon in the visit and I'm having a lot of fun with them. We went roller skating last night! Secondly, it's great because it's my last visit!! I'm almost done! Yay!! While I was in their chapter meeting tonight it really hit me that I'm almost done with this job and it made me quite sad. This is the first time that the thought of being done has made me sad. Up until today whenever I think of being done with this job I get a feeling of relief. Tonight I realized that this is the last chapter that I'm going to get to help. I almost cried right there in the middle of their meeting. This once in a lifetime experience is almost over. It's really hard for me to believe that. It's also hard for me to believe that I graduated from college almost a year ago. It just doesn't feel like it.

I mentioned in my last blog that I've been keeping up with my list of all the books that I've read this semester and my good friend Alex read that and recommended a website to me www.goodreads.com. That's where I'm going to be updating my list of books read from now on. It lets me rate the books I've read and keep a list of books that I want to read. I can also see what books my friends have read and plan on reading. It's pretty nifty. You should all check it out and join so I can see what books you've read and use it to add to my list of books! I'm not adding all the books I've ever read, just the books I've read in 2009 plus a few others. 

The book that I'm reading right now is really interesting. It's called Smashed by Koren Zailckas and it's about her struggles with alcohol and binge drinking. She went to Syracuse University and it's weird reading about it because she'll mention a park where she used to walk her dog and I realize that's the park I used to go sledding at in the winter, or she'll mention a street she went to a house party on and I realize that's a street that I used to live on. It's really weird for me. I can also relate to some of her stories and feelings (not all of them, but some) and that part makes me kinda sad, and not in a nostalgic kind of way. She was also in a sorority when she was in college and I'm happy to report we did not really have the same sorority experience while we were in college -- I like mine a lot better. 

I wrote a blog titled "Aspire, seek, attain" a little while back and for those of you who read this who are members of Alpha Sigma Alpha, I'm sure you saw it and didn't think much of it besides "Oh yeah, that's our open motto". For those of you who are not in Alpha Sigma Alpha, I'm curious to know what you thought about it and it's significance, or if you even thought anything of it at all. I used that as the title of my blog because I think my sororities open motto is really a great motto for life and I don't think that I think about the meaning of it often enough nor apply it to my life as I should. I was in a meeting with a collegian a couple of weeks ago and I made reference to it and all of a sudden it just hit me: Aspire. Seek. Attain. I stopped for a minute and thought about those words and the meaning behind them, individually and together. I also used our creed as the title of several blogs last semester because I love it. I don't often think about each sentence on it's own but have gotten in the habit of just reciting it without much thought at all. 

To fill my days with satisfying activity

To find dominant beauty in art, literature, nature and friendships

To know the peace and serenity of a divine faith

To love life and joyously live each day to it's ultimate good

When I really stop and think about all of the things that Alpha Sigma Alpha stands for, the things we promote and the standards which we ask our members to try and live up to, it really makes me proud to be a member of this sorority and to be working for it now. It's a really nice feeling to have. 

Living in the moment

So this blog is not about my plans for my future but about my life right now. 

I'm still sicking with this vegetarian thing and it's going really well for me. It will be a month on Sunday. I decided that I am definitely going to stick with it the rest of the time that I'm on the road and while I'm in Chicago and then I'm going to reevaluate it when I'm in Austin. I think I might start eating meat again and just make a conscious effort to eat it less. Really, I think I'll probably just eat meat at home when Mike and Sandy cook it (they do so often and very well) but I like the challenge of finding other things to eat when I'm out and like the idea of having to find new things to cook too. It's really forcing me to be healthier too. Being a vegetarian paired with the fact that I gave up pizza for lent is doing wonders for my figure. The ladies here took me to their student union for lunch today and the options were Subway, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell or Burger King. I love that I don't have the option of ordering a double stacker from BK. This is forcing me to have the will power that I don't have on my own. So while Katie had a junior bacon cheese burger I had a salad with fat free ranch, fat free yogurt and a V8. And I thought every bite of it was delicious! 

I will be back in Indy and off the road one week from tomorrow!!! I am so excited! I am excited to be back in Indy because I love being at Headquarters and because I love living out of a hotel with Nicole. I'm also excited about going back home. The worst part of this job is just the repetitiveness. I am going to miss traveling and spending time with chapters but I think I'm still ready to be done. I'm going to look back on the experience fondly and always be glad that I did it, but I'm ready for this experience to be over and for the next one to start. I do love the feeling I get when I'm at a chapter and I can tell that I'm really helping them. I really want to go back to Kerrville and share the things I've learned with my chapter and help them to become even more amazing than they are. I'd love for Theta Epsilon to win Crown of Excellence next year (the highest national award that a collegiate chapter can win and it's only awarded to one chapter each year). They're already a good chapter and I feel like I could help give them that edge that they need. I feel like they would be hesitant to listen to the things I'd have to say though. That makes me sad.

What else is going on in my life? Oh, a whole lot of nothing. I have still been reading a lot lately. Every time I finish a book I go back and edit the blog I wrote a couple months ago so the list of books I've read stays updated. I think there's 20 books on there now with my little reviews of them. It makes me quite happy to look at the list and see them all. That reminds me of all the things I'm looking forward to this summer. 

1. Getting a library card and going to the library

2. Getting a bike and riding it to the library

3. Cooking my own meals (and sharing them with Mike and Sandy)

4. Not living out of a suitcase

5. Seeing Jake and Ryan

6. Consistent warm weather (not looking forward to the super hot weather though)

7. Outdoor activities (tubing, walking, kayaking, swimming, etc)

8. Getting a tan (from the sun, not a tanning bed)

9. Not having reports I have to write every week

10. Having friends I get to spend time with again

11. Seeing John!!!! (at the end of the summer when he comes back)

12. Being stationary for a while 

13. Hopefully making new friends

Aspire, seek, attain

I have 16 more days until I am officially done being a Leadership Consultant and 19 more days until I'm back in Austin. Nicole, Jeff, Eric and I are going to take a weekend trip to Chicago before Nicole and I go back home for the summer and I'm pretty excited about it. I've never been to Chicago (the airport doesn't really count, right?) so I'm excited to see the city and hang out with my friends that I don't know if I'll ever see again. I arrive back to Austin on April 20 and I don't really know what's going to happen from there. 

My plan was to come back to Austin, work full time at Cafe Monet all summer and then move to Kerrville in the fall to get a job and be doing grad school to get my teaching certificate, even though I don't know if I want to teach. While doing all of this I planned on applying for programs like the Peace Corps, AmeriCorps, YAV, etc. so I could be embarking on a new journey in the fall of 2010. I want to be in the central Texas area for the next year to be close to my friends and family for a while and get my teaching certificate so that I have some sort of edge/training that could be useful in whatever program I get accepted in to. 

That was my plan and for the most part still is my plan. Right now I don't know how many hours I'm going to be able to get at Cafe Monet this summer. In April I'm only scheduled 7 hours for a two week pay period and while I know that April is the slowest month for Cafe Monet, I am still worried about what my hours will look like for the rest of the summer. So I've started looking in to other options for the summer. I applied for a few jobs I found on Craig's List (summer day camps, preschool teacher, etc.) and applied for some jobs that are open with CPS in Austin, San Antonio and Round Rock. I also applied for some jobs with Kerrville Independent School district for the fall and contacted some families from Nannies4hire about being a nanny (either full time or just for the summer). 

There is one family that I am really interested in. The mom is in rehab right now so it's the Dad and Grandma taking care of the little girl (she's like 2). The Dad lives in Austin and the Grandma is back and forth between Austin, Houston, and Connecticut. The Grandfather is a professor in Switzerland (yes, that country over in Europe) and the family is looking for a nanny that would be able to accompany them back and forth to all of these places (including Europe). How awesome would that be?? I have already heard back from a couple of other families wanting to talk to me more which is encouraging but I'm hesitant to talk to them much when this is the one I really want. I'm afraid that I'll talk to a family I like and commit and then get offered something better. But I also don't want to hold out waiting for something better and nothing come along. 

As far as line of work, I am pretty much open to anything right now. The grad program at Schreiner is online with one Saturday class a month so if I got accepted in to this program I would not necessarily be forced to live in Kerrville. I am most likely going to live where ever I get the best paying job with the most usable/interesting experience. 

I am really excited about what is going to come next for me after this year. I am really excited about leaving the country and doing something to be helping others in some way. That's really the most generic way that I could have said that but I can't think of the right words to express it. There's so much that I want to do with my life and I really feel like this would be the first step towards that. I want to be giving. I want to be helping. I want to be making a difference. I want to be forced out of my comfort zone. I want to be experiencing something different. I don't want to just live a normal old life. I want to make an impact on the lives of others, make them better in some way. I haven't figured out exactly how yet so I think this is a good starting point for me. I don't want to come back from this experience (what ever it may be) and just slip into the working world and blend in with everyone else. Blah. I want my life to mean something.