"Apathetic"

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I’m writing this blog to let everyone know that my dear friend Krystal and I have decided that we’re starting a new life together. Very soon, she and I will be quitting school and our jobs and leaving everything behind (except for her car and my phone) and moving to Canada.  There, we are going to find ourselves some sexy-hot Canadian lovers and live and be merry. Although, nothing about a Canadian lover sounds hot or sexy… I may have to import one or figure something else out. That’s beside the point though. The point is that she and I are officially done with our lives here and are ready to embark on some new adventure, and why not in Canada? They talk funny there and I like it. We’ve decided that the American government will never find us there so we don’t have to worry about silly commitments to the Army or loans that we need to pay back, etc. Rest assured that we will not be just wasting our lives there either! We have a plan to start a company making a new brand of animal crackers. Some new designs that we’re considering are giraffes, monkeys and octopus. If you care to visit us or reach us once we start our new lives in this far away land, there will be a process to go about. We are leaving to escape the stress and ridiculousness of life here and we do not wish to invite that stress to come and visit us whenever it wishes. There will be visitation dates set and an application process for getting your visit approved. There are many of you that I will miss when I’m gone, however, I feel that this is very necessary for Krystal and I to maintain our sanity and find some happiness. We wish you all the best of luck with your lives and hope that you understand.