I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be?

I'm in a very thoughtful mood today. I'm not thinking a lot about my life in particular, but just life in general, which is good. Thinking about my life too much makes me a little crazy. 

I was walking to a meeting on campus today and it was gorgeous outside! This is my absolute favorite weather. It's about 80 degrees and sunny. I love it. On my stroll through campus I passed some people laying on a big blanket in the grass under a big tree and I got very jealous. I would love nothing more today than to be laying under a big tree on a blanket with a nice book and a chocolate milkshake. Mmmm, I just want to lay there, nice and relaxed and feel the breeze and not feel anything else. When I picture myself laying there, I do picture myself a little differently than I look in reality. In this day dream of mine I have long, slender, sexy legs. My hair is brown, long and shiny. My eyes are happy, my face relaxed. I'm not alone either, but I can't really tell who's laying there beside me.  

I'm in a good mood today. I'm grateful for that. I feel completely shitty because I'm sick or have allergies or something and I'm a bit stressed out, but I'm smiling. I feel good about my life at the moment. It's not perfect and there's a lot that I would fix if I could, but I guess it's not so bad. It could really be a lot worse, right? I've got some people that really know how to make me feel like crap, but then I've got some people who make me feel amazing. And that's what I should focus on. I need to worry less about the bad and remind myself more about the good. And I think I like who I am. I'm a good person. I'm not perfect, but who is? And who expects me to be? I know that I don't expect the people I care about to be perfect, so who is it that I'm trying to be perfect for?